The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
