Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
