The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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