At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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