Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
