don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Actions speak louder than pants.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
