So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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