i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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