just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
