its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
