I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
