had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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