I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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