He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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