so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
