dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
