I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
