Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
