I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He has the fingertips of a God
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