i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
