im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
