the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
