he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I only lived at night.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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