This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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