East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
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