drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
