GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
