Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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