Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
