Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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