My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
