Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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