What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
