Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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