just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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