it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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