everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
