dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
