There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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