never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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