god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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