I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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