Do vagina's smell?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
