So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
