Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
