Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
