I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
