can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So vagazzling was a success
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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