cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
