it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
